1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/996710) offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/996710) in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/996710) Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/996710) to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Heard them but still funny. Way to describe yourself TL :P

u missed: if u go to bed with your wife and wake up with your cousin :P

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
lol

u missed: if u go to bed with your wife and wake up with your cousin :P
No, that would almost be a Jägermeister commercial! :evilking:

No, that would almost be a Jägermeister commercial! :evilking:

not if i made it up myself, though a good effort turco

not if i made it up myself, though a good effort turco
You made it up by yourself? you mean that didn't really happen to you??

Oh so lame...:rolleyes:

would u rather me be some incestuous country hick with a 14 foot mobile home, a shotgun collection, and still refer to the northern US residence as "yankee's".... that's what i thought. so w/e u say doesn't stop me from cracking jokes about/with them.

ionus, lighten up...it's TurcoLoco, he's just giving you a hard time. He tends to do that. he's just joking, don't take it serious.

im not taking it seriously rather asking a question with a directed tone. perhaps you would prefer a rewording?

ionus, lighten up...it's TurcoLoco, he's just giving you a hard time. He tends to do that. he's just joking, don't take it serious.
Hahaha Gizmo....u crack me up.
He was all serious and talking crazy and I was about to have some fun but you ruined it. :rolleyes:

But seriously, Mr. French Canadian, what's wrong with being an incestuous hill-billy? You amost hurt my feelings! :moon:

Oh btw, the details you had given in your silly exmaple is freightening, for a second I thought of you as some incestuous Canuck hick living in a 14 foot mobile home, with a shotgun collection, and still had the nerve to refer to the northern US folk as "Yankees"....

I meant no harm with my replies to you and I thought my silly posts were too obvious not to warrant an explanation.
Anyhow, a lot worse can occur here in the Yankee forums so watch out! :evilking: